“America Has No Culture”

The Internet–your home of absolute and unquestionable ideas, such as “Sharks are smooth” and “Birds are actually government robots.”

One of these ideas is that America has no culture.

I love America; I love my country. I don’t hate any other country or people group. Though America has her faults–we’re imperfect–I can’t stand to hear such ridicule of my home. I want to show calmly and logically that they’re wrong to make ignorant claims and stand in the middle ground.

First, America haters claim that America “has no culture.” One can only claim by defining his terms and providing evidence. What is “culture”? I’ve always interpreted it as “the way of life of a group of people,” which is a generally accurate definition. Google defines it as “the customs, arts, social institutions, and achievements of a particular nation, people, or other social group.” Let us take a trip through U.S. history and see if we can find these factors of culture–then we can determine if America truly has culture.

You wake up in a dusty room; it smells like cow manure, and you’re already sweating from the squeezing humidity.  A man enters the room; his colonial attire compliments his crooked teeth. He shouts in an American way, “MORNIN’, ALL!” He takes his hat off in respect for the women and apologizes for his unkempt appearance, “Sorry ’bout my, well, everything. Wudn’t ‘specting guests. My wife Dorothy is fixin’ a proper supper for all of us. Might as well join us!” The man guides us to his home and introduces us to his wife. Dorothy smiles and greets us, “Howdy-do?” Hours later, we find ourselves stuffed with boiled dumplings, pot pies, corn mush, and fried chicken–staple American dishes. We eat ourselves to sleep.

We once again wake up, this time in another unfamiliar place. In the distance, shouting, gunshots, and lively music pick up–possibly in a saloon. Before us, a smoldering fire crackles as a group of dirty prospectors gather ’round. One plays the banjo, one twangs his jaw harp, and another slides his harmonica in perfect rhythm. The music they played and the lyrics they sang rang out in spirited tune:

The curious lyrics were happy; we sang along. Once the music ended, we ate dinner with the dusty prospectors. We ate canned beans, dried fruits, beef, and some local game roasted above the fire; we drank hot coffee that burned our tongues. We once again ate ourselves to sleep.

Our magical slumber takes us somewhere, someplace in America. We sit up. We’re sitting on a muddy road, our butts nicely planted in potholes. Suddenly, tires skidded, and a Model T’s notable horn blasted our ears, “A-ROO-GA.” We scramble out of our potholes and trip our way off the road. A few pedestrians on their way to work stared and evaded us, shaking their heads. Draped in trenchcoats, slimming dresses, and stylish suits, Americans of all kinds made their way to work. Around us, American architecture towered, drawing a noteworthy skyline. Americans used American inventions to develop and change the world. We strolled, had our fill of American achievements, and returned to our street. Instead of magical slumber taking us home, we pop open the manhole cover and jump right in.

We wake up in the modern-day. We split ways and entered our homes. American flags hung from garage doors–lining the neighborhood. Smells of barbeque cookouts wafted their way through the air. Lastly, children shrieked and ran through the streets with red, white, and blue bead necklaces and little spinning fans from Dollar Tree. Several families packed into minivans and truck beds to drive to the park to watch fireworks and local business floats in one massive parade. It was the Fourth of July–Independence Day. With cookouts, parades, and fireworks, we celebrated our country’s independence, and baseball games played on every TV.

That concludes our journey through small parts of America’s thrilling history. We’ve observed Amerca’s customs (manners, meal plans, cuisine, holiday celebrations), her art (music, instruments), and her achievements (technology, fashion, industry).

When we view “culture,” we always exclude culture. If culture is “the customs, arts, social institutions, and achievements of a particular nation, people, or other social group,” then America’s holidays, celebrations, manners, diet, cuisine, music, art, organizations, government, inventions, international achievements, education, technologies, ideas, philosophies, accents, language, slang, and literature must surely be considered “culture.” But, alas, America has no culture.